Thanks to the amazing suggestion and encouragement of my friend Lisa Perron I have registered for my first 5K on March 24th, 2012. 🙂
The first line of the description reads “Celebrate women’s health and fitness with us at the Atlanta Women’s 5K!” I believe for me this event will be so much more than a celebration of health and fitness. This experience will be a celebration of life. Of hard work, looking forward, and never giving up. As I continue healing, the physical part is so rewarding because it is so tangible and measurable and when I’m having a rough day I can see pictures like these below and say to myself “look how far you have come!”
Running the whole thing is not my goal, completing it in the time allotted – that is my goal. Running, walking, crawling, haha, whatever it takes! 🙂
I have 8 weeks to help myself get to this goal. I will post progress each week and include the goals I meet along the way.
Week 1 goal was achieved today! I walked over a mile. 1.13 miles in 30 minutes. 🙂
I will have many goals for endurance and time in the first few weeks. At the end of each week on Sunday I will post my total miles for the week (walking, biking, elliptical and eventually running!)
Every day means something so new and unknown to me. My head and my heart battle each other every day. And on the days when my heart and the pain of loss is winning out, the continuation of goals that were in my life before it changed gives me such hope. Gives me something to focus on and keep moving forward. My counselor today helped me to realize that I am not doing this because I am in denial of the grieving process but because part of the grieving and healing process is learning how to move forward. It is nothing but a fact that I now must learn how to move forward without Glen and learn what my life without him means. A terrible fact but one which I must ultimately come to understand. So today I have made the commitment to start putting some of the pieces of my life back together, by beginning a goal for me, The Atlanta Women’s 5K.
This blog started because I started a running journey and I didn’t know how to start really so I just stretched out …and then I ran.
I was 111 days into my journey and on the way to my first 10K when my life changed. And my reality became something unknown to me and there is no charted plan, no one “right” way to cope and to heal. So I have decided to heal the one way I know and one day I will look back and say I was simply out of ideas but not giving up…and then I ran.
I am not running away from anything, not avoiding my life or my reality, but running towards something. Towards healing, towards peace, towards wellness. My half marathon goal was one that Glen was fully on board with. I had already registered for the Disney Princess half in February and we had begun our plans to book the resort and lay out the trip. And in true girly fashion, I had already bought Alana and I our Mickey running shirts and our princess crown headbands to wear that day. And they will not go to waste. My long term goal is still a half marathon at Disney.
I have no doubt that as he was before, Glen is 100 % behind me continuing this journey and achieving my goal. At this point for me, it’s not just about me anymore. I feel excited for everyone who has seen me go through this part of my life to share in the joys and successes of my accomplishments because without all of you none of this would be happening. All of you have been a more integral part of this than you will ever understand.
Okay, so obviously a half marathon is a LONG LONG term goal 🙂 so let me talk about short term goals.
Through the fabulous Jenn of Myfitness Motivation on facebook I have joined the 1212 Mile Running Club which has the goal of running 1212 miles in 2012. 1212 miles in 2012 is not an achievable goal for me so my plan is to run 212 and do the other 1000 through walking, biking, and the elliptical. Physical therapy is going to start me on the bike pretty soon and I will start logging my miles as soon as they do! I will be using dailymile.com to keep up with my totals. It is an awesome program and makes charting your progress so easy. As I progress in this leg of my journey, I will adjust my running goal up or down as necessary.
Please be assured that this is not a goal resulting out of the trials of this year but a continuation of an existing goal. For me this goal has even more meaning then it did originally. I have to make a choice each day to withdraw from living and live in pain and be angry and confused or to keep moving ahead and keep healing. I have a choice to dwell in my uncertainties or be daily present like Glen was and enjoy the blessings and goals I have for myself. Back in July I wanted a better version of me, I wanted to discover the me that was still uncharted…and then I ran. So in 2012 I will keep running.